narrator+++THE WORST LUNAR FIC EVER! (By SonicBlade) PART VI: THE MOST HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD PLACE ON LUNAR--SHUNARIA'S HOUSE. DID I MENTION THAT IT WAS A VERY BAD PLACE? YEAH? OKAY. narrator+++So, our heroes (and anti-heroes) traveled to Vane in search of the Elmo in Grouchland video. At the Vane Info Booth... leo+++Night: uh...We need to find out the address of Shunaria DeLan's house. Can you help us, kind sir? Info Guy+++Info Guy: Sure...it's right over--ACK! UGH!! COUGH COUGH! HACK! ARGH!!! UGH!! ACK!! UH......*falls backwards and dies* leoshout+++Night: AHHHHHH!!! hiroshout+++Artemi: The horror! The grotesqueness! Why, why did he have to die? He was just a bit part, he never hurt anyone!! Why do the good people always leave us?!! *sobs* ghal+++Sonic: So...er...what now? ronfar+++Cain: An obvious solution would be to ask one of the residents of Vain. leolaugh+++Night: AH HAH!!!!! You spelled 'Vane' wrong! You ARE mortal! MWA HA HA HA HA HA! ronfarcomment+++Cain: Tch... It was only an attempt at irony, seeing as most Vanians ARE vain! *ahem* ghalhurt+++Sonic: Cain...trying to be funny... *puts hands over ears* MAKE IT STOP!! PLEASE!! hirogrin+++Artemi: Hey, here's someone from Vane. Hey, do you know where Shunaria DeLan lives? We need to find her house to save Lunar from destruction by a black demon hell dragon. Vane Girl+++Vane Girl: Sure, cutie! I'd be glad to help YOU! Shunaria's house is right past the--ACK! ACK!!! COUGH!! BLAH!! UGH!! COUGH!!! *falls backward and dies* hiroshout+++Artemi: NOO!!! Why did she have to die?!! She didn't do anything wrong!!! She was innocent!! And...she's the only girl who's ever called me cute! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! ghal+++Sonic: ... ... ... leo+++Night: Let's ask someone else... Someone with more authority, eh? How about this guy? He looks important. ronfarcomment+++Cain: If you say so, Night... Hello, sir. Do you know where Shunaria DeLan lives? nashmad+++Nash: Of course, rabble!! I know everything that happens in Vane! I am the Supreme Official High Administrative Head of the Egocentric Mage Guild! ghal+++Sonic: Well... would you mind telling us where her house IS, oh high and mighty mage? nash+++Nash: What do you think I am, peasant? Stupid?! I've seen how the other people of Vane have died when they tried to tell you where Shunaria's house is! It's obviously an evil trick! Therefore, I am not going to tell you that Shunaria's house is right behind--- leo+++Night: Oh, geez, not again. nashshout+++Nash: AAAAH!! I'm DYING!! ACK!! COUGH!! SPIT! GASP!! ACK!! ARGH!!!! Uh.....*explodes into little tiny pieces* ghalcomment+++Sonic: Okay. That's it. I'm gonna get help. Something is definitely up in Vane. narrator+++In the Vane Crystal Tower... ghal+++Sonic: ...And that's what happened. miaupset+++Mia: Oh, dear. And you say...my husband exploded?! leosad+++Night: Unfortunately, yes, he did. We're terribly sorry... mialaugh+++Mia: Oh, well, he was annoying anyway. Let me get my mom. She might be able to help. narrator+++Mia returns with her mother, Lemia Ausa. ghal+++Sonic: Can you tell us what is wrong in Vane? Why do people keep dying as soon as we ask them where Shunaria lives? lemia+++Lemia: Well, I haven't detected the spell yet due to the wizard's web surrounding it, but you activated the spell. It seems that your friend Samara is in cohorts with Shunaria-- ronfar+++Cain: Well, we knew that already-- lemia+++Lemia: Shut up. Anyway, Samara has cast a very powerful trigger spell on the whole of Vane. Anyone who gives you directions to her house will trigger the spell and die a horribly painful death. leothink+++Night: So, what can we do? mialaugh+++Mia: Simple! I'll draw a map for you. It won't show the directions to her house directly, but you'll be able to find it. ronfargrin+++Cain: What a great idea! I'm glad I thought of it! hiroquestion+++Artemi: Uh...you DIDN'T think of it. ronfar+++Cain: Sure I did. I just didn't mention it. Wouldn't want to confuse you. ghalmad+++Sonic: ... ... ... grrrr.... narrator+++Hours later, a confused team of misfits is walking through Vane, trying to decipher the nearly unintelligible map. ghalcomment+++Sonic: Man...what's THIS little symobl mean? ronfarthink+++Cain: A pair of huge glasses...The Totally Dorky Mage Guild. leothink+++Night: There! There it is. hirogrin+++Artemi: It's no wonder that YOU can find it. leothink+++Night: ... ... ... okay, where next. To the east of the Totally Dorky Mage Guild, here's the Ritz... ghalev+++Sonic: Hey, it's Mox! Whuzzah!?!? leo+++Night: Is that Luna? ghalhurt+++Sonic: ...yes... *turns red and looks at feet* nallmad+++Mox: Hey... Where in the hell is that idiot Max? The little fudgepacker stole my wallet and I had to take Luna to Burger King for our date!! hiroblushthink+++Artemi: (Well, I don't think he'd be too happy to know who REALLY stole his wallet...and, I'd like to stay alive a little longer...) lunahappy+++Luna: Oh, but I loved it!! The Whopper was delicious! Advertisement+++---We Interrupt this Crappy Fanfic for a brief promotion--- ramuso+++Max: Burger King, Burger King!! Buy a Whopper to~day!! ramus+++Max: The food's so good, you'll love the taste, ramuslaugh+++Max: Go to Burger King today! HEY HEY!! narrator+++Now, back to our-- ramusolaugh+++Max: BUGENHAGEN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! narrator+++...story....*sigh* nallmad+++Mox: THERE HE IS!! I'll....I'll kill him!! leo+++Night: Man, he's already dead. He got sent to one of the lower realms: The Eternal Torment of Endless Cheezy Promotions. nallcomment+++Mox: Oh. That sucks, I kind of wanted to kill him myself... So, what are you guys doing here? ghalcomment+++Sonic: Well...to sum it up...my sister is a Black Demon Hell Dragon bent on destroying the world, unless we let her watch the movie Elmo in Grouchland. leothink+++Night: And, unfortunately, Shunaria and Samara have rented the only copy in this solar system. Shunaria's house is in Vane, so we were just looking at this map to find it. nallindif+++Mox: Why are you looking at a map? Why don't you just ask someone? Oh, I get it, you're shy. Well, leave it to me. Hey, good-looking, can you tell me where Shunaria DeLan's house is? Cute Vane Girl+++Cute Vane Girl: Oh, sure! It's right-- ghalshout+++Sonic: NOOO!!! STOP!!! STOP!!! Cute Vane Girl+++Cute Vane Girl: Man, what's your problem? *walks away* nallmad+++Mox: What IS your problem?! lunainsult+++Luna: Good-looking? Where you trying to flirt with that girl, Mox?! nallshy+++Mox: (Oh, shit, I forgot about her.) Um...no, I was just trying to get her attention! lunamad+++Luna: Eck! Liar! You're nothing more than a cheap player!! *storms off* nallcomment+++Mox: Well, I guess the truth hurts... *laughs* I don't need you, Luna!!! I have three hundred and fifty-nine OTHER girlfriends!! HA!! ghal+++Sonic: ... ... ... okay. My problem is this: There's a trigger spell woven around Vane. Whenever someone tries to tell you where Shuni's house is, they die a terrible death. nall+++Mox: Ah, so that's why you told her to stop. ghalev+++Sonic: That, and she was kind of cute. I might have wanted to ask her out, you know. leoindif+++Night: *Ahem*. Now, back to the task at hand, eh? To Shunaria's house! narrator+++Two hours and one hundred fifty nine new girlfriends of Mox's later, the team arrives at a tall, dark mansion...okay, do I really need to describe it? Cue in your old cliche haunted house already! ghalshout+++Sonic: AHEM!! Narrator! What am I paying you for?!! narrator+++*sigh*...all this hard work and no appreciation... ghalmad+++Sonic: I'm waiting... narrator+++Alright!! Man... narrator+++Sonic and the gang arrived at Shunaria's house--which, in reality, looked more like a fortress. It was a tall, evil, black spire that stretched into the night sky and seemed to spear through the moon. narrator+++As the group raised their eyes to see the top of this horrible fortress, a flight of bats flew out of the uppermost point of the fortress like shadows of death. A sense of dread fell over the team like the pall of eternal torment. ghal+++Sonic: Whoa. Spooky. The Black Wind Howls... narrator+++So, after a long day of travel, the team finally arrives at Shunaria's residence in Vane. But what will happen to them once they get inside? What kind of deceit and treachery do Shunaria and Samara have in store for our heroes (and anti-heroes?) narrator+++Where has Traitor gone to? Will Artemi's true heroic nature surface when he faces the terrors inside the dark fortress? AND HOW DOES ANYONE GET ANY RESPECT AROUND HERE?! FOR CRYING OUT FRICKIN' LOUD! I MEAN, ALL THE WORK I DO!! NO ONE RESPECTS THE NARRATOR!! NO ONE!!! *sob* narrator+++...so tune in to the next episode of the Crappy Fanfic!